Agony Akka life hacks


You can continue the same lifestyle at university as at home. Unwashed, unprepared and disappointing

Dear Agony Akka,

I am a student from Kerala and classes are reopening from 14th Feb. I thought they wouldn’t open this year and didn’t take note. Now I only have a week to finish them. Also, I loved studying at home because I used to put a selfie on the screen and paint my nails while the teacher talked about torque and momentum. My brother is in third grade history and he was playing rummy online. Now everything will stop. Why can’t your prestigious newspaper write to the authorities and let us continue home study? It’s more peaceful.

— Dealing with growing tension

Dear FRET,

I can’t begin to tell you how much I sympathize. I am sure the students of Karnataka will also agree with you. Who would have thought that one day they would land in class to be chased and mocked by gangs armed with sticks? They must be very angry at Omicron to walk away and leave them at the mercy of other variants.

In my housing colony, many people are also sleeping because the return to the office has slowly begun. They’ve settled into a comfortable WFH routine and now it’s been a brutal shock. Like Kangana Runout suddenly saying something nice. Nobody expected it.

16D’s Nilima says she can no longer concentrate on work unless she is simultaneously chopping vegetables. Moreover, she thought Corona was a permanent feature like the potholes on the roads of Bengaluru and is angry that they expect her to actually show up in the office. Mahesh says that for two years he has attended all meetings with a shirt and briefs and now hates pants.

Once you get used to collapsing in front of your home PC with an unshaven face and samosa crumbs raining down your body, it can be hard to start meeting humans again in an office environment. You never know when you’ll start scratching your stomach in the middle of a meeting without realizing that this is real life.

It will be much easier for you students. You can continue the same lifestyle at university as at home. Unwashed, unprepared and disappointing. Frankly, if I was a teacher, I wouldn’t want you to come back either. You’ll all be sitting there huddled together like budding mobsters with nothing between your eyebrows but space. It must be terrible.

But what do I know? My teacher friend says online classes are like sending lessons into a black hole. But at least there’s a screen between her and the hole. Imagine facing this gaping space in person every day. One shivers.

However, there is hope for you. More and more universities hire vice chancellors who are not wise but very random. Once you convince them that your only motivation to return to class is to make sure no one is allowed to wear what they want or eat what they want and you will run around attacking all your classmates class, they will be so happy that they will let you play. online rummy all day.

In fact, they are thinking of a new telephone game especially for students. You have to create one garment per day, like a papaya-colored scarf or a carrot-colored hat. Then your online avatar needs to carry the idea and throw stones at other avatars who don’t carry the same thing. The maximum number of moves means you will win. Very simple. They hope NYT will buy this too like Wordle. But I think Zuckerberg will buy it for Meta first.

The new game is very good for the student community. It improves hand-eye coordination. And teaches chromatics. Surely now you want to go back to class?


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